Why?

Why?

Great question! Can’t think of a more concise way to uncover what’s next. As a child it’s probably the first question we learn to ask, why this or why that, naturally curious about the world around us. It’s simple asking to learn, innocent even. We become masters of this question by the age of 4. How is it that years later we grow to abandon this beautiful question?


Imagine walking into your kitchen to find an entire box of cereal spilled all over the floor. Your little one is standing over the mess, box in hand, and has a startled look on their face. How do you respond to what you see? (Pause.Think.)

Are you a “What happened?” person, focused on the activity and the happenings? Sure your question opens it up for dialog and depending on the age of the little one, that could be fun. It is however focused on the something that occurred, good or bad, cereal spilled. Besides, it seems a little obvious to me, the little one figured out yet another way to free the trapped cereal.

Perhaps you are a “How did this happen?” person, focused on the actions it took to spill cereal all over the kitchen floor. Again, good dialog could come from this, and you could learn how to coach the actions that the little one took to unleash the cereal on the floor. I offer this may be a great opportunity to demonstrate the different techniques to getting all of the cereal out of the box and onto the floor.

What if you were a “Why did this happen?” person, focused on how the happening and action can be prevented. Better yet, how could you have prevented the sharing of cereal with the kitchen floor? Wait, what? How did I become the fall guy? Great question. Think preventative. Think in anticipation. Think beyond blame or understanding and instead focus on why the cereal picked a fight with the kitchen floor. Not sure how this shows up for you, but I’m sure there are millions of possibilities.

Our world is consumed by what has happened. CNN & ESPN are very good at reporting the “what”. We get text alerts that tell us the “what” all day long, short, specific, yet no depth… standard definition television. As we tweak our “what” and improve to “how” by asking questions to confirm, understand, or learn. At very least there is some understanding and ability to provide feedback and coaching. How things happen is fascinating, the process and techniques that I have learned to understand the “how” have made all the difference in my life and my relationships with people. Think of this as HD TV, great definition, crisp and brilliant. I dare you to take the next bold step to understand the “why”. Seek out root causes or triggers. Go beyond the obvious. What new depth of learning can you uncover? What could you prevent, better anticipate, or further advance by asking why more often? This is like 3D TV, a new lens to see the same material, unlocking all sorts of new possibilities.

“What” is needed less. “How” is needed more. More “why” is needed. Amazing how some of the first ways we learn can be the most effective. Channel your inner 4 year old, ask why more often. Go from think, to think differently, to think crazy differently!